Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Meeting our Surrogate and Egg Collection

A day or two before leaving India, we had the opportunity to meet our surrogate. Of course I jumped at the chance. I had been nervous for some time at the prospect of meeting her: what would I say and how could I ever express my true gratitude. Thank you seemed trite. When she entered the room with her translator, I could feel my knees get weak and had to sit. I'm not even really sure what I said to her. She has children and I think I asked her if they would be properly cared for during this ordeal. More important than what was said, was what wasn't said. As I stared at this woman, so obviously nervous and shy by my presence, I realized this meeting was not for her. She didn't need to meet me like I needed to meet her. The cultural divide between this poor illiterate woman from Northeastern India and us, two middle class white gay Western men, was thicker than a concrete wall. As hard as I tried not to, I began to cry and thank her for giving us this opportunity. I hope she was able to comprehend how much I truly appreciate her act of generosity but truthfully, I'll never know.

Yesterday was egg collection day. We left Delhi late last night. While transiting in London, I received this e-mail:

"We would like to inform you that 17 eggs were matured out of 19 collected.

We are very happy to inform you that the fertilization was very good and all the 17 eggs have fertilized.

We will get back to you soon with further updates."

Hey this sounds good to me. As with everything with this process, I have to Google everything to double check. Impatiently awaiting the next e-mail.

We just got home this afternoon. I'm exhausted: not sure if it's from the 20+ hours of flying, the baby drama waiting and uncertainty or the mentally taxing India visit. I think I'm gonna crawl into bed and stay there for the next few days.

Celebrating an interesting and hopefully successful India visit

Flight from London to Miami April 10, 2012


  1. Hey There

    I am so happy to hear about egg collection. That sounds so promising! You are probably sleeping by now - Andrew and I are having difficulty recovering from the flight and getting back into a routine. We keep sleeping for 12 hours in a row! We very much enjoyed meeting you guys and crossing everything that our babies will happen and in 6 years time we can join you at Disneyworld!
    Looking forward to hearing how embryo transfer goes. We are still waiting to hear about that as it was supposed to happen yesterday.
    Love Mels and Andrew

    1. Thanks Mel... glad you both made it home safely. We are still suffering the stings of jet lag. I'm looking forward to your Disneyworld visit! I'll send you an e-mail now.

  2. Great news thus far and hope it continues, is that 1st class your flying?

    1. Yep... it was a treat after the 15 hour flight over on Air India. My 6'1" frame didn't do well in a middle seat in coach with a child behind me kicking my seat the whole time!

  3. Hey guys I'm do happy for you. I will be in India On the 5 of may to start my process. In scared as I am doing this all alone but there is. Nothing I want more in my life. I do hope this gay male here finds a good man to be with if not I'm ok just being daddy and mommy


  4. I had a similar experience with our surrogates. I do believe they could understand, even though they didn't speak English. I think my body language (and the teary eyes) said it all. What these women are doing for us is the most amazing gift and something we will cherish forever.

    Sending lots of baby dust your way for the embryo transfer and 2WW :)

  5. Great fertilization numbers! Fingers crossed. Yes, meeting our surrogate was very similar, and we also had my niece there (who was our egg donor) and she had just come out of the retrieval process. There we all were, me, Bill, my niece (in a hospital gown), all greeting this wonderful woman and her husband and trying to thank her. It was touching...but yet a bit comical. Can't wait to hear the news...I've got a good feeling. Thanks for sharing, guys. Take care.

  6. Some feelings and emotions translate without words. What a memorable moment that is...both for you guys and for her. Amazing.

    Here's to a POSITIVELY PREGNANT post coming our way very soon!


  7. 17 is a GREAT number. Fingers crossed for you guys!

  8. 17 eggs is AWESOME! On our first attempt, we left it up to our surrogates if they wanted to meet us. One did but the other did not. (Ultimately we got pregnant with a completely different one who we've never met.) Anyways, as we were leaving the meeting, Duane saw the one who was too shy to meet us' husband peeking behind the door of the clinic, watching us as we were leaving. Very sweet.

  9. Amazing numbers. Let's hope for more amazing news over the next 9 months.


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