Friday, April 27, 2012

OMG!! OMG!! ..... BFP!! BFP!!!!!!!!!!

I would like to go outside and start screaming but the neighbors would probably call the police. Instead, I'll do it here... WE ARE PREGNANT!!!!! I know it's early and I should be cautiously optimistic but I'm so incredibly overjoyed right now... I never thought it would happen this fast! The beta value is 175.75. I'm trying to confirm how good this is with Dr. Google.  Am I really, possibly, going to be a father???!!!!!! The last 2 weeks have felt like 6 months... I have so many things going through my head right now. As I walk around my house, I'm thinking to myself: what's it going to be like to have a little person here?  Do I have what it takes to be a great father? Where can I sign up for a baby class - there's so many things I don't know? What color should I paint the nursery? Is it too early to check out pre-schools for gifted children?!!! Back to reality... I know this is just the beginning. Is it too early to begin happy hour?!!!

Friday, April 13, 2012

Let the Two Week Wait Begin

Just received confirmation that the embryos were successfully transferred to our surrogate. Dr. S will do a test on April 27 to determine the results. God that seems like a long way away.

Google defines Patience as "the state of endurance under difficult circumstances, which can mean persevering in the face of delay or provocation without acting on annoyance/anger in a negative way; or exhibiting forbearance when under strain, especially when faced with longer-term difficulties. Patience is the level of endurance one can take before negativity."

Here's wishing for lots of patience and  a great level of endurance. It's out of our hands now!

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Explaining India

Many people have asked me about my trip to India. Since I haven't told anyone about the true reason of our trip, most think we were on another exotic vacation. I've had quite a difficult time explaining the complexities and contradictions of India: the feelings of love/hate and beauty/disgust, along with a little culture shock. For some reason, when most people hear vacation, they automatically think of Cancun and margaritas. I've tried explaining that this trip wasn't like that at all; it was more of an experience. My sister, a self anointed princess, called last night to inquire about my trip. "I know exactly what you mean [about the culture shock]. The last time we were in the south of France I had a complete meltdown because there weren't any hand towels in the bathroom." Really? I was stepping over dead dogs on the sidewalk in Old Delhi but if you can somehow find a comparison with the south of France... ok. I think from now on, I'm just going to tell people my trip was "Great."

 I'm expecting an email from Dr. S at any time now to confirm embryo transfer.

The Princess Diana bench at the Taj Mahal

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Meeting our Surrogate and Egg Collection

A day or two before leaving India, we had the opportunity to meet our surrogate. Of course I jumped at the chance. I had been nervous for some time at the prospect of meeting her: what would I say and how could I ever express my true gratitude. Thank you seemed trite. When she entered the room with her translator, I could feel my knees get weak and had to sit. I'm not even really sure what I said to her. She has children and I think I asked her if they would be properly cared for during this ordeal. More important than what was said, was what wasn't said. As I stared at this woman, so obviously nervous and shy by my presence, I realized this meeting was not for her. She didn't need to meet me like I needed to meet her. The cultural divide between this poor illiterate woman from Northeastern India and us, two middle class white gay Western men, was thicker than a concrete wall. As hard as I tried not to, I began to cry and thank her for giving us this opportunity. I hope she was able to comprehend how much I truly appreciate her act of generosity but truthfully, I'll never know.

Yesterday was egg collection day. We left Delhi late last night. While transiting in London, I received this e-mail:

"We would like to inform you that 17 eggs were matured out of 19 collected.

We are very happy to inform you that the fertilization was very good and all the 17 eggs have fertilized.

We will get back to you soon with further updates."

Hey this sounds good to me. As with everything with this process, I have to Google everything to double check. Impatiently awaiting the next e-mail.

We just got home this afternoon. I'm exhausted: not sure if it's from the 20+ hours of flying, the baby drama waiting and uncertainty or the mentally taxing India visit. I think I'm gonna crawl into bed and stay there for the next few days.

Celebrating an interesting and hopefully successful India visit

Flight from London to Miami April 10, 2012

Sunday, April 8, 2012

An Observation on Driving in India

I think I've finally figured out the road rules in India. It took me awhile but I think I've got it. The right of way is given to the larger vehicle: a car yields to a bus, a rickshaw yields to a car, a bicycle yields to a rickshaw etc. The aforementioned rule is completely moot if a vehicle of any size is able to cut off or overtake any other vehicle and thus create their own lane of traffic. A cow and/or stray dog would have the right of way above all others. A pedestrian would never have the right of way. Ever. The car horn should be used randomly and often: it merely lets others know you are awake and still proceeding to your destination. A note on crossing the street: it's not advisable to "look both ways" as we were taught as children. I actually stopped doing this 3 days ago. Instead, find a local heading in your direction. Approach the local from behind, to the point where you are actually breathing on their neck (in my case I'm actually breathing on their head as they tend to be shorter than me). When they move, you move. If you can't follow this rule, you'll probably never be able to cross and forced to only see sights on your respective side of the street.

Even though I understand these rules, I'm still not ready to rent a car in India.

Friday, April 6, 2012

Old Delhi: Sensory Overload

Just got back from sightseeing in Old Delhi. My God what a day. I feel like each one of my senses have been severely violated. The sights, sounds, SMELLS, noise... When we started out this morning, I think I was unconsciously fighting the whole thing. It was so, so hot, combined with the most violent smells known to man, along with more trash than I've ever seen on the street in my life. Add to that a few million flies, people, cows, stray dogs, rickshaws, beggars and more trash. Honestly, I'm not a princess but I was over it. I told Ruben, "Get me the Hell outa here."

Fortunately, I still had "must see" places on my sightseeing list so we ventured on. In the evening I had signed us up for a small group tour with this guy that took us around Old Delhi to sample local food ( It turned out to be one of the sightseeing highlights of our trip. We sampled all kinds of local foods that I wouldn't have dared to try on my own. As we were walking down the middle of the street - sidewalks are completely unnavigable - with cars, bikes, people and animals on all sides of us, I told Ruben "I'm kinda getting into this." I think once I just gave up completely and submitted myself to the fact that I was indeed on a completely different planet, it all kinda felt fun in a way. Not sure if this makes sense as I'm still trying to process it all. All I really want to do right now is dip myself into a vat of antibacterial hand gel. I guess I'll have to settle for a hot shower. I feel disgusting.

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Meeting the Famous Dr. S

Today was a big day. My first appointment at SCI went well. We met Dr. S and she answered all my questions and gave us a tour of the facility. I'm now comfortable my $ isn't going to some unmarked house on some side street in Delhi! She's got some operation - I was impressed. We met accountants, lawyers, etc. and even caught a glimpse of a few surrogates. She even told me she's expecting our donor to give us a large number of eggs! I know this is only the first step but I'll celebrate where I can! Seems like Monday will be collection day so we should know for sure then. Next up is choosing the surrogate but I think we're gonna leave that to the Dr.

We are having a great time meeting other IPs here at the hotel. Last night we had a great dinner with fellow bloggers from "New Year Dreaming." It was also a pleasure to meet Preet and her husband for breakfast. It's kinda cool being with other people who are going through the same thing. I hope we're all together here at the Svelte in 9 months.

Tomorrow's agenda includes a full day of sightseeing in Delhi.

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Leaving Jaipur

We've had quite the week here in Jaipur. What can I say about India? Well... It's certainly the most complex country I've ever visited. Before I left home, someone told me, "either you're gonna love it, or you're gonna hate it." Honestly, for me that's not been true. I'm somewhere in between. For me, India has been beautiful, vile, happy and miserable all at the same time. It's so hard to describe. I'm enjoying learning what I can about the country, but somehow I feel like it won't be enough. I'll never truly grasp it.

One thing that has been a little funny is watching people try to figure out why 2 middle aged men are traveling together alone. At our hotel here in Jaipur, the owner insisted on having 2 comforters placed on our bed, creating a distinct separation for us. At dinner, we've been asked 2 or 3 times about our "wives." So today while riding an elephant through the desert, I came up with my comeback. Next time this happens, I will tell them that "No, I'm not married. Actually my wife died. Tragic accident. The investigation is ongoing but I can assure you I'm innocent." That should quiet them down for awhile.

Next stop... Delhi.