Babies and Bell Peppers

Well I haven't updated my blog lately because not much has happened. That's a good thing! No news really from SCI at all. Sixteen week scans came over a week ago. They were pretty bad actually and we couldn't see much at all. I'm fine with that as long as they are still growing strong! I've been referring to my new favorite website baby center. This is what they say about the babies at this point, about 18 weeks:

Head to rump, your baby is about 5 1/2 inches long (about the length of a bell pepper) and he weighs almost 7 ounces. He's busy flexing his arms and legs. His blood vessels are visible through his thin skin, and his ears are now in their final position, although they're still standing out from his head a bit. A protective covering of myelin is beginning to form around his nerves, a process that will continue for a year after he's born. If you're having a girl, her uterus and fallopian tubes are formed and in place. If you're having a boy, his genitals are noticeable now, but he may hide them from you during an ultrasound.

 I'm starting to get really excited. Time is starting to move really quickly. I still have so much to do, learn and buy before this really happens. I hope I can get it all done! Cheers to several more weeks of "boring" scans from SCI!

Grieving with a Friend

Today I received horrible news that a friend I met in blog-land lost their twins - at almost 7 months. I know that no words can express the pain and sorrow they are feeling. I just wanted to dedicate this post to them and let them know they are in my thoughts and prayers. This was a real wake up call for me that nothing is certain about this process. In the spirit of grieving, moving on and trying again, I thought this quote was appropriate from my favorite poet/writer:

Joy and sorrow are inseparable. . . together they come and when one sits alone with you . . remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.
― Khalil Gibran

Babies and Airplanes

I have a confession. I am secretly terrified of something when our babies arrive - we've got awhile but I'm scared nonetheless. No it's not staying awake all night feeding, burping, and changing the babies. It's not even the stress it may put on our relationship. I'm scared of flying with babies. Yes, I said it. I work on airplanes everyday. One would think I would be most comfortable there. I'm terrified. It's a 15 hour flight from Delhi to New York and then we will make a connection for a 2 hour flight to Florida.

I've been having this nightmare over and over. Ruben and I are half way into our 15 hour flight. My baby won't stop screaming. I'm walking all over the plane trying to calm him/her. "I'll buy you a horse if you be quiet." Ruben of course is sitting with his Bose headsets on and his baby is fast asleep. Each time I walk past, he tells me, "You've got to see this movie." Passengers are screaming at me "Shut that thing up." The pilot even comes out and tells me they will land in Kenya to dump me off if I can't quiet my baby.

Since I doubt taking a boat is an option, I imagine I'll manage somehow. I hope this lady is working my flight when we return:

In other news, I finally broke down and told 2 of my six siblings about our impending baby plans. Surprisingly they were really cool about it. Even my conservative, Fox news loving younger sister was excited. And they asked no stupid questions from my prior post. I thought that was a plus.

Stupid Questions

For weeks now we've been getting the same 3 or 4 questions from people curious about what we're going through. I think some people just can't comprehend surrogacy in itself and then you mention India and it really confuses them. I've decided these are my top most annoying questions:

You're having a baby? OMG! What are you going to do?
When I get this question I have to pause. I think one of two things. First I think, well, I guess we're gonna keep it. We did go all the way to India and are spending lots of money to do this so yeah, we're gonna keep it. Besides, it's not like we're 16, went to the drive-in and I came home pregnant. We kinda planned this. Secondly, I think people ask this because we're guys. Deep down, I don't think they have confidence that we can handle it.  I honestly think most people think us guys will do something like this if a woman isn't around to stop us:

How much did it cost?
Maybe I just don't like talking about money but I think it's kinda rude unless I know you very well or you want information because you are researching surrogacy in India yourself. I wouldn't dream of asking you how much your nose job cost so why is it ok to ask me how much I'm paying someone to have my children?

Who's the father?
This one gets me every time. My first response is, "Well we both are of course." Then they want to know who "donated." I find it so awkward. It feels like they are differentiating between who is the "real" father and who is not.  I certainly couldn't do this without Ruben and I don't think he could do it without me. Lately we've just been telling people the surrogate is pregnant with both of our children - since she's carrying twins. Why not just confuse them even more.

Happy Birthday to the love of my life!
You're gonna be the best baby daddy ever!