Monday, January 7, 2013

FRRO... The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

I'll try to recap today's events at the FRRO. First off, we chose not to use Poonam, SCI's lawyer, as I didn't think she was worth the expense since she doesn't actually go to the FRRO with you. She mostly makes copies and tells you what to say. Anyway, I made my appointment on line for 9:30 this morning. We got a nurse to come with us to help with the babies while we were there. We arrived at about 9:00am. It was freezing and crowded, but not packed. I would definitely recommend making your appointment for first thing in the morning. There is a ramp on the left and lots of people sitting in chairs on the right. An older man with a microphone was screaming at everyone in Hindi and English to sit down, be quiet, don't stand there etc. Most of the people looked like they had just got off a caravan from Afghanistan. We walked up the ramp to the left and tried to get in with the babies but were told we needed to sign our name next to a number in a notebook next to the guy screaming with the microphone. Sound chaotic? It was. After signing in, we waited. Someone showed up at the desk and started calling out the numbers next to our names. When my number was called, I was given a one inch piece of paper with something scribbled on it and told to go inside. Off we went.

We walked in and took the first left and walked down a small hall. I was 3rd in line at a check in desk. Ruben and the nurse went inside and sat down with the babies. I approached the clerk and told him I was here to get exit visas for my children. "Surrogacy?" he barked. "Where is Wife?" he asked. I sent her home to America. She's ill. He wrote on a piece of paper Single Parent and circled it. He proceeded to ask for my documents. Being the over prepared geek that I am, I had about 600 copies of all sorts of documents. He said to give him the following documents: on line registration form with attached photo for both babies, copy of both babies passports, copy of babies birth certificates, copy of my passport, copy of my Indian Visa, surrogacy agreement, sworn affidavit from the U.S. Embassy, letter from SCI, no objection letter from surrogate, Form C from your hotel (it's a foreigner's registration form the hotel fills out when you check in), and copy of my plane ticket home. He also made me write on a blank piece of paper that I would be financially responsible for the children and I paid no one for them. I gave him everything he asked for and then he abruptly stood up and said, "YOU - sit down."

As we sat with the Afghans and waited, I realized what a  bureaucratic nightmare this place is. We waited and waited. After about 45 minutes, a man sitting behind a desk stood up and called my name. He handed me my packet of documents I had given to the other guy and told me to go to desk 10. Off I went. I stood in front of desk 10 while an older gentlemen finished his cup of tea. Once finished, he took my documents and started flipping through them one by one. "Where is Wife?" he asked. At this point, I seriously almost pointed to the nurse and said "She's right there with the baby." If you've seen these nurses, you would know he wouldn't buy it. I gave him the same line as the other guy - she's ill and home in America. He continued flipping. "Tourist Visa?" Yes I responded. He then took my passport and looked for the entry/exit stamps from my last visit to India in April. A random woman walked up and they started speaking in Hindi. I stood there silent but they were definitely talking about me. All I heard was: Hindi, Hindi, Hindi, "tourist visa", Hindi, Hindi, "single parent" etc. this went on for about 10 minutes. He finally took both babies passports and stamped them. He handed me my packet of documents and said go to the cashier. I went to the cashier and was charged 4360 rupees for the two exit visas. I gave the guy 4500 and got no change back but I wasn't going to argue over $2 in a place like this. I was told to take my packet to a desk that said "in charge" above it. The supervisor took my documents and the receipt from the cashier and started flipping through them again. He called someone over and they started speaking in Hindi. "YOU - sit down."

So far it was going well. After about 5 minutes, a guy comes over and asks where is the letter from Eden hospital. Uh....... What? I tried playing stupid. Oh yeah, SCI is the hospital. "You bring me letter from hospital or no visa." But I'm thinking to myself, you already stamped their passports moron. I asked if the babies could leave while I went to find this elusive letter. He said yes. Off we went. We dropped the babies and the nurse off at the hotel. I called Rachna at SCI and told her I needed a letter on Eden hospital letter head that stated that my surrogate gave birth to my two children on December 18 and she was released from the hospital, is in good health and doing fine. She said she could make the letter and I could pick it up and then take it to Eden hospital to have it signed by Dr. Gupta, the doctor with no personality that delivered our children. Off we went. At this point, I'm in a race against the clock as the FRRO comes to a complete stop at 1:30 for lunch. With letter in hand, we barged back in at 1:15. I walked straight to the front of the line and pushed my way in front of the supervisor who wanted the letter. He found my packet and not even looking at the letter, tossed it in the pile with my papers and signed the babies passports he had stamped before. You are finished he said.

It was over. In retrospect, I don't think we were harassed for being single or on a tourist visa. It was however an issue at each desk or person I had to speak to - they brought it up. Neither were a hindrance in me getting the children their visa though. Could it change in the future? Who knows... We met some friends staying Svelte at the FRRO on our second visit. They chose to use Poonam. They didn't have anything from Eden hospital either. They also didn't have copies of their tourist visa. From observing this place, one guy could ask you for something and then turn around and ask for something completely different from someone else. There is absolutely no rhyme or reason to this chaotic place. I'm elated this hurdle is complete. We treated ourselves to massages this afternoon.

16 comments:

  1. Whew! Thanks for the update; been very curious what the situation was of late. Anyway, you're almost home--congrats!

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  2. Thanks for the information. You must be glad that i over with.

    I'm going to make sure I have everything and most likely stuff they don't want.

    Have a safe trip home.

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  3. Wow - good job getting through that - congrats!

    And now I'm scared. :-(

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  4. Congrats on your FRRO story being done. Things were very complicated when we went through there n 2010 but it sounds like the circle of crazy rule changes is starting again....glad you are one step closer to home.

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  5. Thank goodness!!! Glad you are one step closer to done! Woo hoo! Congrats!

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  6. That place really stressed me out beyond belief!!, well done!, closer to getting home!

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  7. Ok, felt awful laughing through the whole post but definitely brought back some awesome memories! Congrats on passing the final hurdle home!!!

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  8. Yay!!!!!!!! It is so ridiculous - I dont think it matters who you are they will ask you for things they dont need....I hope our trip goes as "smoothly" as that. See you tomorrow.......I can tell how relieved you guys are.

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  9. wow - I feel sick in the stomach just reading this LOL. Not looking forward to it at all.

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  10. Despite the "ugly" part, we are glad that you guys are over that hurdle. Your experience will help us prepare when it is our turn in April. Thanks!

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  11. Yay - it's all done! I think that's everyone's biggest hurdle second after getting pregnant! I would be concerned that they would ask me to prove that I was married (being single myself) but nice to read your experience. Thanks for sharing!

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  12. Hi.im only at the beginning of my journey but im worried abt the sworn affidifat frm our country bit as my country wont give that as surrogacy is a bit off dont ask dont tell policy here. Wud there b any way around that

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    1. It would be best to ask your clinic for the most updated information. In my case, the U.S. government has no such affidavit prepared for us in this situation. I was handed a blank piece of paper and told to write whatever I wanted and they would notarized it. I mentioned nothing about surrogacy. I was told the letter should state your name and your children's names and their dates of birth. It should also include the fact that your child is a citizen with a passport issued by your country and that country has no objection to this situation and your child may travel freely to your country. I also included that I am a U.S. citizen and permanently reside at such and such address. The FRRO accepted this without question but it could be different for everyone. Good luck!

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  13. As nervous as I am being a single parent again, I hate lying and never do i have to find a way to say it where its the truth but not the whole truth. When I went over in the first place they asked me why i was coming over and I told them that I was coming for a medical procedure, which is not a lie, just not specific. Me being who I am as a person, It so hard for me to decive someone, was always tought to be truthful. But i will have to do what I got to get home safe. Please make contact with me so we can talk when you get back to the USA. Thanks guys

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  14. I have to agree with Bernadette. This brought back so many memories! Your recap is so familiar and I am so happy you made it through! Congratulations!

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  15. about to go through this!
    just had my initial visit with US Consulate for DNA swabbing... Wish us luck!

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